Fiction: Reflections

[kethni]

Spoilers for 3.20 Cold Snap


Follows on from Easy/Hard
Mohinder's POV on Cold Snap

A cruel joke is what it was. Daphne was alive after all and then... then she wasn’t.

 

Mohinder barely knew her; had exchanged perhaps a dozen words at most. That didn’t matter. Her disgust at the monster he’d been didn’t matter. Mohinder didn’t matter.

 

She mattered. She mattered because she was young and guiltless and died in agony for no reason at all.

 

She mattered because Matt believed she did and that was all the reason Mohinder needed.

 

He wanted to believe he was being taken to her to save her. Needed to believe it. When they took him into that room she was the first person he looked for, even before Matt. Because that’s what Matt wanted; without asking, without being able to ask, Mohinder knew that’s what Matt wanted.

 

They’d not discussed it, not discussed her, past Matt’s angry insistence that she be avenged. Mohinder didn’t know anything about their life but the few seconds he’d seen them together, the happiness on Matt’s face when she arrived and the grief when she’d been shot. Enough, it was enough.

 

Enough to know that his small gesture, a hand on Matt’s shoulder, was nothing. Less than nothing. An insult. They’d clicked back together so easily after the crash and Matt’s violence had wrenched them apart. Now he’s drifting away in pain, and rage, and hopelessness and Mohinder can’t begin to see how to chart a course to him.

 

“I’m still here,” Matt says quietly, reaching up to squeeze the hand on his shoulder. “I’ve not gone anywhere.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Mohinder says mildly. “It’s not fair.”

 

“Needed to feel a friendly voice.”

 

“You know you can...” Mohinder’s voice trails off as Matt looks up at him. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

 

“I know,” Matt says, watching Mohinder’s eyes skitter away. “Thank you.”

 

“We should go.”

 

“We should.” Matt drops a kiss on Daphne’s forehead.

 

Mohinder thinks how unfair it is that she looks as though she’s sleeping, waiting for the prince to wake her up.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Matt says quietly. “Don’t blame yourself.”

 

“But I do.”

 

Matt touches his hand and Mohinder’s heart beats treacherously fast. Matt gives Mohinder a sad, worn smile, squeezes his hand, and doesn’t say don’t blame yourself for that either.

 

 

 

It’s a beautiful night with stars shining and the moon low and silvery. Matt looks up silently and stares for a little while.

 

“What do you see?” Mohinder asks softly after a few minutes.

 

“Footprints in the air.”